|No. || Stadium || Description |
No. 1 Denbigh Stadium / Stadium mk - MK Dons
There's only one problem with this ground's location, and it's a rather major one - it should
be about 60 friggin miles away in Wimbledon. Damn those pesky franchises.
No. 2 New Bayview Stadium - East Fife
The home of East Fife in Methil.
It's a newish ground (opened 1998) that incredibly has only one stand. The rest of the ground
is just surrounded by a wall. A great idea for a stadium that stands right next to the Firth of
Forth, meaning the cold easterly winds just lash in against the supporters in that stand.
It's also overlooked by an old coal power station, almost giving the impression that the
players are having a match in the car park. Methil itself suffers from major deprivation
problems and isn't a pretty coastal town by any stretch of the imagination. It's also miles
from the nearest railway line, so getting there is problematic for those without a car. The
old ground, apparently, had a typically friendly and ramshackle small club feel to it, but
the new ground is just a bunker.
No. 3 Celtic Park - Celtic
Celtic Park is in a pretty scary part of Glasgow, although anyone arriving in the magnificent
city centre will wonder what all the fuss is about. However, the journey from here takes you
past all the squalor that the poorest areas of Glasgow have to offer. Urchins lurk on street
corners swigging booze from the bottle. What's left of the shops are fortified like Northern
Irish police stations in the 1970s. And unlike other Glasgow stadiums there isn't a nearby
station to get you back into town. As for the local boozers, don't expect organic real ale
or a white wine for the lady. Fantastic stadium though. And what an atmosphere.
No. 4 The New Den - Millwall
London's answer to the above. But at least now there's an option for a relatively safe and easy,
'straight in and out' trip - travel by train and the visiting fan now has the luxury of a special bridge
that leads from the platform to the away end. For those taking the tube expect an unnerving 20
minute walk from the nearest underground station. And for those who like to live life on the
edge, try driving to it. And then try and find somewhere to park. Just remember to remove
any sign of evidence that your car might be from anywhere but this part of South London.
No. 5 Ninian Park - Cardiff City
And now for the Welsh version... The good news - there's a massive car park next to the ground
and an even bigger one one near to the Leckwith Athletics Stadium. And there's also the Ninian
Park Halt railway station about 2 minutes away. Sounds great. What's the problem ?
Well basically, that it's in Cardiff. And some of those Cardiff boys don't like the English.
Or even the rest of Wales for that matter. Even if you're parked only 2 minutes
away or just have that short walk to the station, expect it to be eventful. Particularly if
you follow a bigger team, or one with any sort of 'reputation'.
No. 6 The Bescot Stadium - Walsall
The Bescot was Walsall's replacement for the homely and tightly packed Fellows Park. It
largely appears to be underneath an M6 flyover. Indeed, if you're stuck in a jam on that
godforsaken section of British road engineering (and let's face it, if you're passing that
junction then you're most likely stationary) then you can see into the ground. It's
nowhere near the centre of the town, but there is a rather splendid selection of industrial
parks and underused office space, instead of the pubs and houses near their former home.
And apart from the infamous queues on that stretch of the M6, it's extremely handy for away fans.
That's about the best gloss we can put on it.
No. 7 Sixfields Stadium - Northampton Town
See above. Another 'new' ground which is nowhere near the centre of town. Still, if you like
eating at Frankie & Benny's or want to drink in the 'home fans only' chain pub nearby, it's
No. 8 Maine Road - Manchester City
There's a lot to be impressed by in the new Manchester. Sadly the Moss Side area around
City's glorious old Maine Road ground isn't part of it. Scally Central where a quid or two
might just keep the local kids from pinching your hub caps. As for all those dodgy little
alleyways around the ground - brown pants time.
No. 9 Layer Road - Colchester Utd
It will soon be replaced by a brand new stadium, the fantastically named Cuckoo Farm
(and no, we're not joking), but that won't alter the fact that it's
easier to find Rory McGrath's grooming kit than it is Colchester. Unless you're travelling
from London it involves taking the B14831269 for about 200 miles and then turning right at
the old oak tree. The ground is a lovably ramshackle affair in a decent part of town.
But try getting there.
No. 10 Wembley Stadium - England.
Ok, so we know the new stadium looks spectacular, and now appears to have more than 4 toilets,
but it's still in a dog of a location. There are so many reasons why this folly, this delusion
of grandeur should not have been built, especially for that price, but the location tops the
list. It's bloody miles from any decent bits of London, even further to where we live, there's
hardly any pubs or decent places to eat, and as for the parking... Dont even mention the parking.