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the home of cult football






You know the ones. The ones you're almost too embarrassed to get to the final of, trying to convince yourself that "it'll be a good day out".

  • 1. InterToto - The daddy of mockability. A tournament created by UEFA so that the football pools could continue through the summer.
  • 2. Watney Cup - Early 1970's competition, contested pre-season by the highest scoring club from each of the 4 English divisions. Almost made famous by the last line of Half Man Half Biscuit's classic "Rod Hull is Alive. Why?"
  • 3. Full Members Cup - Also known as the Simod and ZDS cup. It was created to compensate for English clubs being kicked out of Europe. Some compensation for Man Utd fans - a trip to the Nou Camp ? or a rainy night in Grimsby in the Simod Cup ? You decide.
  • 4. FIFA World Club Championship - Another FIFA money making venture. Bring back the Toyota Cup.
  • 5. Football League Trophy - Open to the lowest 2 English divisions, and also known as the Sherpa Van, Freight Rover, LDV Vans, Auto Windscreens - no one knows what the compulsory van sponsorship thing is all about but its great for low-level cup mockery.
  • 6. Anglo-Italian Cup - 1979 Final - Sutton United v Chieti. Great stuff.
  • 7. Confederations Cup - Much maligned competition for the winners of the six confederation championships (plus world champions and hosts). Remember the classic France-Japan final of 2001 ? No, neither do we.
  • 8. Texaco Cup - Another classic from the 70's, this one open to clubs who didn't qualify for Europe. Named the Texaco Cup because that's what the winners got, a petrol station of their choice. Or did they just sponsor it ?
  • 9. Premiership - Ok, so strictly speaking its not a cup competition, but its has to go on for being predictable, dull, over-rated, over-priced and over here.
  • 10. Charity/Community Shield - Despite its status as the 'traditional curtain raiser', this has become a bit of a joke. It's now one of the laws of England that only Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Man Utd can appear in it.