10 Funniest World Cup Moments

1 1994 - Diana Ross 'penalty kick'

If there is one thing the Americans are brilliant at, it's putting on a great show. So where the hell were they in 1994 when the World Cup came to town? Still, the lame opening ceremony provided a number of classic moments. Who could forget Oprah Winfrey? What do you mean everyone; she was there, for no apparent reason. However, we all love that moment when Diana Ross dances down the pitch to take a penalty. Ross pulls her effort wide and the goalposts inexplicably collapse. Years later Ross overcame her mental anguish from the incident when she famously appeared in a Pizza advert with Darius Vassell.

2 1974 - Zaire's Wall 'defends' a free kick

Arguably the most effective way of defending a free kick yet devised. Just before the opposition (Brazil in this case) are about to bend one in, send one of the lads from the wall to clear it before the ref has even blown his whistle. A baffling, wonderful bit of World Cup magic.

3 1978 - Peru's keeper gets a booking...

...in the opposition half. Brilliant stuff. The kind of slapstick comedy that Laurel and Hardy spent years perfecting. Ramon Quiroga was the name, El Loco (The Madman) was the nickname and he established legendary status when rugby tackling Grzegorz Lato to earn himself a booking, 70 yards away from his own goal line!

4 2006 - Graham Poll

You work your way to the very top of your profession. You become the best in the entire country. You have a worldwide stage. And you completely cock it up. Poor Graham, he'll only be remembered for this. It was the equivalent of David Jason turning up drunk at the Royal Variety Performance and giving the Queen the W@**ers sign while urinating on stage.

5 1990 - Massing v Caniggia

Benjamin Massing was a huge Cameroonian defender with a simple motto. If it moves kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it anyway. Claudio Caniggia was certainly moving when he avoided two attempts to launch him into space. Benjamin wasn't going to miss him though. As we all so desperately wanted Cameroon to win we forgot the awful assault and remembered Massing, as he walked from the pitch giving regal waves to the Milan crowd.

6 1978 - Ally's Army

Classic Scotland. Perhaps their finest hour in a curious sort of way. Beating a path to Argentina on the back a triumphalist parade around Hampden to celebrate their impending victory in the World Cup (!), Scotland contrived to be stuffed by Peru before a humiliating draw against Iran. Typically, they then beat eventual finalists, Holland, by not quite enough goals to qualify.

7 1962 - The Battle of Santiago

Even by today's standards this was the real deal when it came to player violence. So violent in fact, that we can't justify to ourselves that it was funny. What was funny though, was David Coleman's magnificently disgusted, Outraged of Tunbridge Wells, intro to the match. "The game you are about to see..."

8 1950 - USA beat England

Thank god we weren't alive in 1950. As Sir Walter Winterbottom famously noted "Football? Blooming Nora!"

9 1994 - Aldridge loses the plot

Has the subtle Scouse accent ever been so delicately articulated on a World Cup touchline? Aldo belied his working class Scouse roots with an Oscar Wilde style denunciation of a fourth official who didn't care for the cut of his jib.

10 1982 - Kuwait walk off

The Kuwaiti defence hear a whistle as the French attack. They commit the cardinal sin of stopping as Giresse slips through to score. An amazing impasse follows as the team refuse to carry on, under orders from the sheiks in the crowd who control Kuwaiti football. If Opec met in a public park it would look a bit like this. Sadly, common sense prevailed and the game continued. Sheikh in the crowd. Now there's an idea for a competition...