The Best Football Chants

Some of the chants that have made us chuckle over the years and some that are just so clever they deserve a mention...

Please feel free to send in any more that you've heard, sung or started to: info@midfielddynamo.com

Aberdeen
"Have yer not paid yer 'leccy bill?" (repeated)
November 2007. Sung at Heart's Tynecastle ground after the floodlights went out.
"Love... Lovell tear you apart, again."
(To the tune of Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart) Sung after striker Steve Lovell scored against Hearts in March 2007.
"You're not Scottish anymore."
March 2007. To Hearts fans in reference to a Jambo's team packed with foreign players.
Aldershot
"It's blue, it's square, you're going down to there - Conference, Conference!"
April 2009. Sung to Chester City's fans as they were being relegated from League Two.
Arsenal
"Green in a minute. He's going green in a minute"
September 2008. Arsenal fans at Highbury after FC Porto brought on a substitute called... Hulk
"You're not fit to referee!"
November 2006. It's not an unusual chant to hear, but the Gooners cleverly directed it at referee Mark Clattenburg after he went down with cramp in the game against Liverpool.
"He's quick! he's Blond! He won the Coupe du Monde! Emmanuel! Emmanuel!" as well as.. "He's blond! He's quick! His name's a porno flick! Emmanuel! Emmanuel!"
Sung around 1997 a Gooner suggested to us. The Emmanuel in question ? Petit, of course.
Aston Villa
"It must be time for a sandwich!"
April 2009. Villa fans at Old Trafford, spotting United fans leaving their seats for their half-time refreshments after just 30 minutes of the first-half,
"John Carew, Carew. He likes a lap-dance or two. He might even pay for you. John Carew, Carew."
October 2008. Villa fans during their 4:0 demolition of Wigan. Carew had been fined for allegedly visiting a lap-dancing club after their UEFA Cup win over Ajax.
"Forest Gump is a Villa Fan! Forest Gump is a Villa Fan!" (...repeated)
January 2008. Villa fans at their game with Reading game following revelations that Hollywood actor Tom Hanks was officially one of them.
"Who are we? Who are we?"
December 2006. A cracking response from Villa fans during their game at White Hart Lane, having had the classic "Who are ya?!" chant sung at them by Spurs fans.
Atletico Madrid
"We want more ! We want more!"
December 2007 in the game against Getafe when a brutal second half saw 12 cards dished out, 6 of them red, in a game that saw 19 cards in total.
Blackburn Rovers
"Santa Cruz is coming to town ! Santa Cruz is coming to town !"
Rovers fans welcome their latest signing, August 2007.
Blackpool
"How wide do you want the goals ? How wide do you want the goals... etc."
December 2007. Sung to the tune of "Go West" after rivals Preston continuously failed to convert any of their numerous chances as the Seasiders won 1:0 at Deepdale.
Brighton HA
"We've got tiny Cox. Say, we've got tiny Cox."
2007. Sung after 5ft 3ins midfielder Dean Cox notches against the Orient.
Bury
"Chim-chimenee, chim-chimenee, chim-chim-cheroo. Who needs Steve Gerrard when we've got Marc Pugh!"
2006. In homage to their own midfield dynamo, Marc Pugh.
Charlton Athletic
"There's only one Teddy Sheringham... one Teddy Sheringham... With a walking stick, and a Zimmer-frame, Sheringham has p*ssed himself again"
Sept 2007. Charlton fans at Colchester in homage to the U's ageing striker.
Chesterfield
"There's only one Jack Frost, one Jack Frost, there's only one Jack Frost.."
Chesterfield fans in a pre-season friendly against Partick Thistle in 2000. The reason ? The TV camera's were there filming crowd scenes for an episode of Scotland's favourite crime fighter - Taggart, so the Spireites decided to do their best to ruin things by constantly chanting this throughout the filming.
"He's dead, and you know he is. He's dead..."
Same game. Different chant.
Crystal Palace
"Oh Moses, whoa-oh! Oh Moses, whoa-oh! He comes from Norbury, he parted the Red Sea!"
March 2008. After young forward Victor Moses had scored against West Brom.
"Your dad, is a cucumber !"
May 2007. Sung at Colchester's goalie Dean Gerken.
"You should've stayed in a burger!"
May 2007. Directed at Dean Gerken again, after he let in his 2nd goal.
Colchester
"He's got his IQ on his shirt. He's got his IQ......"
Colchester fans to ex-Ipswich forward James Scowcroft during the game between Colchester and Crystal Palace. Scowcroft went on to score, obviously.
Dundee Utd
"Rangers till July! You're Rangers till July! We know you are. You know you are. You're Rangers till July!"
March 2012. Dundee Utd fans in response to the "We're Rangers till we day" chants, in reference to the terrible financial plight of the Glaswegian club after it went into administration and looked like it could possibly be heading for the doomsday-scenario of liquidation.
East Fife
"They're up from near Lochgelly. They're really f****** smelly. They've never seen a telly... The Cowden family."
How about this belter from East Fife (directed towards Cowdenbeath) to the tune of the Addams Family theme.
England (National Team)
"He's big, he's bad, he dances like my dad, Peter Crouch! Peter Crouch!"
World Cup 2006. The cult of Crouchy begins.
Everton
"World Cup - and you f*cked it up! World Cup... [repeated and repeated]"
2006 Everton v Arsenal game. All sides of grounds (including away fans) give referee Graham Poll some stick for events in the 2006 World Cup.
FC United
"A-die Orr ! Goal! Always believe in the Orr, he's got the power to score, he's indestructible. Always believe in..."
To the tune of Spandau Ballet's Gold. Sung in homage to their star striker Adie Orr.
"And Fergie said: 'Go and watch Chelsea'. Are you having a laugh? We'll be watching FC."
Those FC Utd songsmiths again, this time to the tune of the Pogues classic Dirty Old Town.
Havant and Waterlooville
"Are you Swansea in disguise? Are you Swansea in disguise?"
Jan 2008. After taking a 2:1 lead at Anfield in the 3rd round of the FA Cup.
Hibernian
"You're just a crap English pub team. Crap English pub team..."
Sept 2006. After Hibs had dispatched Gretna from the CIS Cup with a 6:0 thrashing.
Leicester City
"Do you work at B&Q? Do you work at B&Q?"
August 2007. Sung at the orange clad fans of Championship new boys Blackpool.
Liverpool
"Cilla wants her teeth back! Cilla wants her teeth back!"
March 2007. Liverpool fans to a bemused Ronaldinho during the Champions League match against Barcelona (Cilla Black's obviously not that well known in Brazil or Spain).
"He's red, he's sound, he's banned from every ground, Carra's dad! Carra's dad!"
2007. A reference to Jamie Carragher's Dad, who was banned from football matched after he was arrested for being drunk in a football stadium.
Luton Town
"Does the circus, Does the circus, Does the circus know you're here ? Does the circus know you're here ?"
January 2008. Liverpool's Peter Crouch gets a warm welcome during the FA Cup 3rd round.
"Mike Newell's Sexist Army [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap]"
November 2006 during the game against Derby. A reference to their manager's comments about the role of women in football.
Man City
"Sven, Sven, wherever you may be. You are the pride of Man City. You can s**g my wife, on our settee... If we get to Wemberlee..."
City fans acknowledge their 'lady's man' boss during the FA Cup tie with West Ham Utd in January 2008.
"Blue Boots ! You've got to wear blue boots. [repeated]"
2006 after Demarcus Beesley came on as sub against Blackburn wearing red boots. The chant 'almost' worked - he swapped to white ones afterwards.
"Singing Aye-Yi-Yippee Sun Jihai. Singing Aye-Yi-Yippee Sun Jihai. Singing Aye-Yi-Yippee, his dad owns a chippy. Aye-Yi-Yippee Sun Jihai."
2004, in honour of their Chinese defender Sun Jihai. And his dad.
"Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best, they go up from his arse to his chest. They are better than Adam and the Ants, Niall Quinn's... disco pants."
Also sung by Sunderland for Quinn and by Sheffield Wednesday fans for David Hirst, with both City and Wednesday fans claiming they sang it first.
Man Utd
"Giggs, Giggs will tear you apart, again."
To the tune of Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart...
"You're not special anymore!"
May 2007. Directed at Jose 'I am the Special One' Mourinho during their clash at Chelsea.
"Steve Gerrard, Gerrard, he kisses the badge on his chest, then puts in a transfer request, Steve Gerrard, Gerrard."
2006. Utd fans turn Liverpool's Gerrard chant on it's head in their 2-0 victory over their deadly rivals.
"Park, Park, wherever you may be. You eat dogs in your home country!. But it could be worse - you could be Scouse... eating rats in your council house."
2006. Not sure what any visiting Koreans would have made of this little chant from the Old Trafford faithful.
"He shoots... He scores... He eats lab-radors... Park Ji Sung, Park Ji Sung."
2006. Another one for Manchester's favourite Korean.
"Get your t*ts out for the Lads. etc"
1990's. At the sight of Liverpool favourite Jan Molby warming-up on the touchline.
Middlesborough
"Whinge on the telly, he's going to whinge on the telly. [repeat]"
2006. Boro fans to Bolton boss Sam Allardyce after El Hadji Diouf had been sent off.
"Wo-oh the Tony Mowbray. Wo-oh the Tony Mowbray. Wo-oh the Tony Mowbray. Arm's up, flag's up, you're offside !"
Sung throughout the 1980's to their chisel-faced captain.
MK Dons
"Beaten by a franchise, you're getting beaten by a franchise."
2006. MK Dons fans each time they took the lead against anyone who had been giving them stick over the controversial ground switch.
Newcastle Utd
"Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye. Tuesday, Wednesday, Habib Beye. Thursday, Friday, Habib Beye. Saturday, Habib Beye..." (etc)
Norwich City
"Super Casino ? You're havin' a laugh! Super Casino ? You're havin' a laugh! "
February 2007. The Canaries wind up Blackpool fans in an FA Cup tie after the NW resort lost out on the governments 'Super Casino' vote to Manchester.
Plymouth Argyle
"We're not boring any-more!"
March 2007. Directed at former manager Tony Pulis during the game with Stoke City. A reference to the drab style played during his regime down on the South Coast.
QPR
"Strawberry blond - you're having a laugh. Strawberry blond, you're having a laugh."
2006. Rangers fans to Cardiff's ginger-haired defender James Collins.
Rangers
"Sebo's on, now we're taking the p***s!" (repeated ad nauseam)
May 2007. 2:0 up against Celtic, Rangers are even confident enough to bring on comedy striker Filip Sebo, much to the delight and amusement of their fans.
Scotland (National Team)
"It's just a big f***ing pylon!"
Sept 2007. Scottish fans massed at the Eiffel Tower in the afternoon before the big game against France.
"What the hell is Va Va Voom ?"
Sept 2007. Directed at Thierry Henry during the match in Paris.
"Deep fry your croissants, we're gonna deep-fry your croissants..."
Sept 2007. Scottish fans take the Mick out of their country's culinary skills during the match against France.
"Deep fry your pizza, we're gonna deep fry your pizza..."
March 2007. Spot a theme here ? This time it's the Italians who get the threat of the deep-fried treatment.
Sheffield Wednesday
"You're father is ya brother, you're sister is ya mother, you're all Sh*ggin' each other, the Dingle family."
Another one to the Addams Family theme tune, this time from Sheffield Wednesday fans to their South Yorkshire neighbours Barnsley, known affectionately around those parts as 'The Dingles'.
"He's got a dead fox, on his head."
Birmingham match, April 2007. Directed at one of Birmingham's stewards, who had a ginger ponytail.
"David Hirst's disco pants are the best, they go up from his arse to his chest. They are better than Adam and the Ants, David Hirst's... disco pants."
In honour of their wonderful, but injury-stricken, striker David Hirst. Also sung by Man City and Sunderland for Niall Quinn.
"We've got Carlton Palmer, he smokes Marajuana, nah-nah-nah-nah."
1990's. Allegedly a reference to the daddy long-legged midfielders incredible engine, rather than his smoking habit.
Sittingbourne
"My niece of two! My niece of two! Is better than you! Is better than you! My niece of two is better than you. She's got a doll, and a pushchair. My niece of two is better than you.."
Sung towards any opposition player who looks a bit suspect or makes a mistake.
Stockport County
"You're not as good as Christmas. You're not as good as Christmas."
2007. Directed at Wycombe's Jermaine Easter.
Stoke City
"We've won it two times, we've won it two tiiiiiiiiiiimes. The Autoglass Trophy... We've won it two times!"
September 2008. The Potters' fans riposte to Liverpool's European Cup song at Anfield.
Swindon Town
"We can see you... We can see you.. We can see you washing up."
March 2008. At the Leyton Orient match, directed towards the flats in the corners of the Brisbane Road stadium.
Tottenham Hotspur
"When the ball hits your head and you're sat in row Z, that's Zamora."
Sung at Bobby Zamora whilst he was at White Hart Lane, to the tune of That's Amore.
Tranmere Rovers
"You're just a fat Rod Stewart. Fat Rod Stewart..."
2007. Rovers fans to portly Woking gaffer Glen Cockerill.
West Bromwich Albiob
"You don't know what you're doing! You don't know what you're doing!"
At Hull in January 2008, after a fan proposed to his girlfriend on the pitch at half-time.
West Ham Utd
"We've got Di Canio, you've got our stereos."
At Anfield in 2000, in reference to some of the dodgy car parking areas around the ground, and some even dodgier young Scousers asking for a couple of quid to look after them.
"Lasagne-Whoao! Lasagne-Whoao! We laughed ourselves to bits, when Tottenham got the s***s!"
Spurs match, March 2007. In reference to the 'alleged' food poisoning before the previous end of season match that cost Spurs a Champions League place.
"We can see you. We can see you. We can see you holding hands !"
Aimed at Brighton fans, a reference to the town's standing as the gay capital of England.
Windsor & Eton FC
"We've got Dave Tilbury, He'll paint your house for free, He quotes and estimates, He paints and decorates."
January 2007. Sung at painter and decorator Dave Tilbury who was making his 200th appearance for the club.
Wolves
"You're not singing anymore. You're not singing any-more."
Jan 2007. We love this one. It's one of the most common chants in football, but Wolves fans sang it at the completely empty away end after Cardiff fans had been banned from the game.
"Oh we drink a drink a drink, to Steve the king the king the king, saviour of... a famous football team, he's the greatest, centre forward, that the world has ever seen."
1980's - 90's. It might not be funny or witty like others in the lists but there are few things more impressive in football than hearing a packed Molyneux belt this out to Steve Bull. We've even heard it sung constantly through the half-time interval - great stuff.
York City
"Onome Sodje - he picks up the ball in the half where possession has been. Has anyone seen ? ....Onome Sodje."
To the tune of Eleanor Rigby, after Sodje scored against Crawley Town in December 2007.
"He's tall, he's quick, his name's a porno flick, Emmanuel! Emmanuel!"
2006. Sung by the Minstermen at their fantastically named captain Emmanuel Panther.

Many thanks to all the people who have sent in contributions to the above list.