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"Yo, Brethren ! It's Shreevesy here wiv the low-down on what's really kicking
off away from the training pitches. It might be hard to believe this, but when
I was earning the big money as Terry Yorath's right-hand man, no-one gave a
flying cr*p what I did. Not any more though. Now it's mega news if Rooney is
spotted at Greggs the Bakers, or Lamps is seen in Primark. Anyway, you spot 'em
and I'll whack 'em on.
Send your top spots to me at:
shreevesy@midfielddynamo.com
Good luck, and, in the words of my old mate
Pleaty.. Cowabunga Dudes!"
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| TOP SPOTS FOR JANUARY, 2009 |
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Well, the festive season is over but it meant a good opportunity for all my eagle-eyed spies out
there to spot some top footballing legends, both young and old, starting with a rare sighting of an old
Chelsea legend...
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Tony Don marvelled as Ron 'Chopper' Harris rode his brand, spanking new Chopper bike around the park
near his Scottish holiday home in Kirkcudbright! The old Yorathmeister General, David Pleat,
would have loved to have had sight of that.
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Gillian Howatson spotted new Forest manager Billy Davies doing absolutely nothing of note as he
waited for a taxi with his family at East Midlands Airport. Come on Howatosn, you can do better than
that next time, get one of your kids to kneel down behind Davies and then get another to push him
over. Whilst you film it. I'd love to see that.
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Winston Arbuthnot sent us an in depth letter detailing how he watched agog as former England
winger Mark Chamberlain despatched a plum pudding between carols at St Crispin's Church, Rugely.
Steady on Winston, 1,500 words is pushing it! A telegram would have sufficed.
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Former Southampton veteran Francis Benali was seen demanding his money back after an altercation
with an elf at the now infamous New Forest Lapland experience. Nobby Siddall who spotted the rumpus
said the elf had clearly been drinking and there was something not quite right about his roll ups either.
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Terry Towellin took his kids to see Santa at Debenhams in St Helens before Christmas. He wasn't 100%,
but from the whiff of tapas on his breath to the way he grumbled about his kidneys, he suspects the
secret Santa was none other than Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez.
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Nigel Hartbrook saw Sunderland defender Nyron 'Nosser' Nosworthy dressed as the Joker at the clubs
Christmas party in the Prudhoe Working Mens Club. Nothing unusual there I hear you all cry.
Except that the theme for the fancy dress was Bats Men, not Bat Man!
El-Hadj Diouf won 1st prize with his spookily accurate take on Mike Gatting.
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It's not just St Nick who likes a nice chimney, Mike Young hid in one for a fortnight, Jermaine Pennant's
to be precise, hoping to get a glimpse of Real Madrid's next galactico hanging up his stocking by the fire.
Little did he know that Jermaine likes to hang his at the foot of the bed. Better luck next time
Mike.
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Doug Foster nearly dropped his frozen turkey when he saw Dele Adebola looking at paint in a small handyman
store in Lincoln.
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Ryan Barnes saw Match of Day 2 pundit Lee Dixon eating brussel sprouts on toast
in a cafe next to the bus station at Chapel en le Frith. As Glenn Hoddle once said to me when I
showed him my collection of old dead toads "Yuck !"
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And finally folks, Burgess Meredith (no, not that one) spotted Roy Keane sneakily tearing open Christmas
crackers at a fancy shop in Wilmslow. That's not part of the game Roy, the contents of a cracker are
supposed to be a surprise. One of my ex-captain's, Peter Atherton, will be livid when I text him about that.
And rightly so.
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| TOP SPOTS FOR SEPTEMBER, 2008 |
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Well, the weather might have been rubbish this summer, but your footballing top spots have been nob on ! Let's kick things off
with some bad news for an old Hillsborough legend...
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Yes, former Sheffield Wednesday winger Terry Curran was seen, sadly, reduced to being a stooge for The Chuckle Brothers on
their summer season at Scarborough. Our man, who wishes to remain anonymous, reported that Terry had told him he didn't want
to see another custard pie for as long as he lived! As my ol pardner in crime David Pleat might have said,
"How the mighty have fallen".
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Terence North has written to us with news that he saw one-time Norwich City goal gobbler, Kevin Drinkell, negotiate a 10%
reduction on his takeaway curry on production of what looked like a fake student card. Staff at the Moglai restaurant
in Lincoln were nonplussed but agreed to the deal when Drinkell handed them a signed photo of former City boss Ken Brown.
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Doug Foster thought he was seeing things as he watched Gazza's mate 'Five Bellies' scraffling in the bins outside the
Jarrow branch of Aldi. You weren't seeing things Doug - old F.B. is well known in footballing circles as a top scraffler.
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Top Spots regular Ryan Barnes, stood on platform 4 of Blackpool North railway station, saw Sammy Lee and Sam Allardyce get off the
4.15 from Bolton in Cybermen suits, with another person with them dressed as Davros.
"Was there a Doctor Who convention in town ?" Ryan adds in his email. You tell me Ryan. What do you think Shreevesy is, some kind of
a walking nothern version of Time Out ?
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Moustachioed Argentine World Cup winner, Leopoldo Luque, was spotted leaving a Warrington lap dancing club by eagle eyed pervert,
Arnold Cleaver. But don't panic Mrs Luque. He's got a part time job at 'La Juggeria' as a pot washer!
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Tony Don noticed Tony Mowbray driving his old Sierra around a roundabout. Nothing too strange there, except for when I tell
you where he was - about from 5 miles from Melton Mowbray ! As my old captain Ian Hendon would have said "That's eerie Shrevesy".
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Mike Young, back out on bail for the summer, somehow ended up hiding in the shower of Mark Lawrenson's ensuite and watched
Lawro cleaning his teeth through the frosted glass. Lawro's a Colgate man apparently, just like Gary Mabbutt. Spooky !
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Leaving these lovely shores and heading swiftly over to the Balearics, Anthony Arkle was amazed to see Germany
legend Olaf Thon downing a yard of ale in Bob's Bar, Magaluf, owned by ex-Tiswas funnyman Bob Carolgees.
I reckon Olaf will have had a hefty hangover after that one. Arkle also reckoned he saw the ghost of
Valeri Lobanovsky shouting "Here comes the Lobster" to him after eating a dodgy fish stew. I'm not having that one, Arkle!
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Staying abroad, and Mike Ingleby noticed Pele and Maradona having a fist fight outside an Irish pub in Los Angeles.
He even sent me a photo. Which I've lost.
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And finally folks, Carl Weathers (no, not that one), went into Clark's shoe shop to buy his daughter some new
school shoes but came out with more than he bargained for - a signed box from Man Utd star Wayne Rooney. Young Rooney,
temp'ing at the Alderley Edge branch as cover for his wife Colin, was busy selling bunion shoes to grumpy old women but still
found time to sign a shoebox and have a chat about the terrible weather.
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| TOP SPOTS FOR MAY, 2008 |
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First things first - I've got a top spot of my own this month - a couple of weeks ago during a charity golf trip to Scotland I spotted
the spiritual Marvin Andrews at Kirkcaldy Links Market carrying an enormous Goose type thing. My God it looked heavy.
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Terry Turpin, son of Randolph, sat next to Lee Dixon on the Dockland's Light Railway as he knitted what looked like a chunky cardigan.
But he could have been wrong.
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Billy Foster saw two footballing Ian's, Woan and Cranson, free-style rapping at the main entrance to the Potteries Shopping Centre in Stoke.
Not content with just one top spot, Billy also spotted former Villa forward Gary Shaw playing Stone-Paper-Scissors with a pensioner near
WHSmith in Lichfield. I wonder if that pensioner was my old nemesis Egil Olsen ? He used to love that game. And Lichfield.
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Doug Foster stood behind Russell Osman as he coughed loudly in Wickes.
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Ryan Barnes saw fine-wine connoisseur Graeme Le Saux swigging from a bottle of Lambrini as the 17:30 to Woking pulled out of Waterloo Station.
My mate Micky Hazard would have paid good money to have seen that.
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Anthony Davis saw Neil McNab arguing with a pidgeon behind a quarry near Buxton.
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Top Spots regular Tony Don spotted Kevin Ratcliffe pushing a rat... off a cliff !!
As my old mucker Keith
Burkinshaw, aka the Burkmeister General, would say - "spookier than a deserted fair ground in an episode of Scooby Doo".
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Mike Young managed to evade Rio Ferdinand's dobermans, get into his house and hide in his boiler cupboard, where he saw Rio eat
an 8 pack of CheeseStrings. You've been 'merced' Rio !!
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Nick Tarry gazed on in admiration as ex-Arsenal defender Gus Caesar rotated crops in a field near Peterborough. Good work Tazman.
And way to go Gus !
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Rich Townsend heard foolish England goalkeeping coach Ray Clemence trying to order a Big Mac at a Burger King's, in Corby.
I always thought Ray was an idiot. Ooh Shreevesy loves a nice Burger King, especially those Chicken McNuggets and Zinger Burgers.
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And finally folks, Sylvester Riggle looked on in abject horor as Neil Warnock nearly choked to death on pastry outside Gregg's the Bakers
in Padstow.
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| TOP SPOTS FOR JANUARY, 2008 |
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First up this month, Peter Grant spotted Spurs target Alan Hutton smoking a mackerel in Tobermory.
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City high-flyer Oliver Turtleneck saw Didier Drogba at the Ivy clutching a freshly signed photograph from Donald Sinden and
in the words of Oliver: "Obviously looking very pleased with himself". A doff of Shreevesy's large cap to that top spot Olly.
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Two top spots in one month for Wrexham's Eileen Bent - first up she saw Chris Sutton barking like a dog in Waitrose, then she
spotted Ian Ormonroyd dancing to drum'n'bass in the Metropolis nightclub. I love dancing too. But not drum'n'bass, I'm a
liquid funk kinda guy myself. Anyway, whatever, good spotting Eileen.
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Doug Foster watched aghast as Alex 'Big Eck' McLeish bought 2 large sheets of MDF at Homebase in Lincoln.
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Claudio Ranieri was spied trying to ram a shopping trolley full of bric-a-brac into a pillar between platforms 9 and 10 at
Kings Cross station. Our contact, Ryan Barnes, who wishes to remain anonymous, seemed to think he had a dead owl sellotaped
to his shoulder. As my mate Terry Venables would have said "Curious!".
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Brendan Neal heard Nicolas Anelka moaning about how late his bus was at Bolton Central Bus Station.
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Tony Don spotted Sunderland misfit Greg Halford buying car mats ...in Halfords! I can almost hear my mate Pleaty saying it
now - "Spooky!".
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Mike Young peered over Matt Le Tissier's wall at his castle in Jersey and saw him barbequeing what looked like a squirrel.
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Thomas Marshall saw Big Ron sharing a joke with a Welsh person. He didn't say where, but I presume Wales.
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Andy Shaw and his wife spent half an hour watching Carlton Palmer and Alan Cork tombstoning near Falmouth.
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And finally for this month, David Arkle noticed former Notts Forest 'pineapple-head' Jason Lee being ejected from a Grantham
library after he complained loudly about having gut trouble. It was probably one of those 24 hour things.
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| TOP SPOTS FOR SEPTEMBER, 2007 |
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Alex Chase spotted Ian Culverhouse in Norwich city centre, carrying a bucket.
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Doug Foster watched Sammy Lee buy a junior hacksaw in a B&Q superstore near Preston.
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Rob Dence saw Darren Moore bare knuckle boxing with a polar bear just off the A38.
Needless to say the big man won. Jeez, my wild-haired pal Terry Yorath would have loved
to have been in the mix with that particular scrap.
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Ryan Barnes caught Derek Mountfield being sick into a bin on platform 8 at St Pancras.
As my mate Pleaty would have said "Who's the stalwart now Mountfield ?".
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A clap of Shreevesy's hands for this one - Bill Carr saw ex-Charlton coaching guru Les Reed
licking envelopes outside a Help the Aged shop in Dartford. Bloody hell Les, get a grip man.
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Tony Don spotted Jason Scotland, visiting old friends in Scotland! As my mate
Pleaty would surely have said "Spooky!".
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Mike Young peered in through Phil Thompson's bay window and saw him watching a repeat of
Keeping Up Appearances on UK Gold.
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Wayne Biggins looked on in horror as Billy Davies crashed a boat into a duck on Matlock's
boating lake.
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And finally for this month, another of my female fans, Shirley Brooks,
saw moustachioed Man City legend Paul Power waving to a fisherman in Oldham.
Ooooh, I do love fishing.
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| TOP SPOTS FOR AUGUST, 2007 |
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Godfrey Baldrick from Halesowen spotted Graeme Le Saux fighting a leopard at West Midlands Safari Park.
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A big Shreevesy thumbs up to Howard Young, who saw ex-Coventry winger Dave Bennett playing
British bulldog in a car park on the outskirts of Milton Keynes. My mate Pleaty
wound love to hear the full story behind that one.
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Terry Greyson watched Peter Reid arm wrestling a gypsy in Paignton.
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Frank Ibbertson saw Neil Webb folding a box in Lincoln.
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Bill Taylor saw PFA chief Brendon Batson nipping off to lay a cable in
Morrisons (the one in Peterborough).
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Tony Don noticed Matt Derbyshire, sightseeing in Derbyshire! As my mate
Pleaty would have said "Spooky!".
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Gifton Noel Williams gargling Tizer at the side of the A4023. Top spot
Bill Taylor. Again.
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Bob Merryman caught Lee Bowyer discussing olives with Kieron Dyer.
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And finally for this month, one of my female fans, Lisa Brooks, saw Jose Mourinho
glaring at a baboon during a summer holiday visit to the Chessington World of
Adventures. As my mate Pleaty would have undoubtedly said "Cowabunga Lisa !"
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Article Keywords: Football Gossip - Footballers and Football Players in odd places - soccer players in strange places - players in the weirdest situations - oddest rumours
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Peter Shreeves' Top Spots ! 