| Baxter Basics |
Sepp Blatter
Ones a morally bankrupt crook in a suit, the other a fictional Tory MP on the pages of an adult comic.
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| Eight Ace |
Wayne Rooney
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Wayne might be a bit ugly and lacking in the brains
department but he at least seemed coherent and mostly teetotal. Not any more.
Urinating in the streets and bellowing raucously after a marathon session is straight out of the
Ace play book. Of course Rooney can afford a higher class of lager (Budvar perhaps) but the end
result is the same... living in a shed outside the family home (see Nike World Cup advert for proof).
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| The Postie |
Fergie
"He's a miserable bastard" goes the tag-line for this much loved comedy character. And The Postie.
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| Roger Irrelevant |
Robbie Savage
As he garbles on nonsensically about the current state of his Aramani tattoo, how
rubbish he is compared to the players that he's 'pundeting', and making out-of-context
comments regarding his lovely hair and the price of cheese, one can only come to the conclusion
that Robbie, like Roger, is completely hat-stand.
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| Roger Mellie |
John Terry
John Terry - the man on the telly. Has a nice ring to it.
John simply can't help putting his foot in it. And other parts of his anatomy.
Just like Roger. And like Roger, John just keeps inexplicably popping up on the television
long after you thought his latest faux pas should have put paid to an ailing career.
During World Cups mainly.
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| Sid the Sexist |
Big Ron Atkinson
Ron famously said a women's place is "in the kitchen, the discotheque and the boutique" rather
than in football. This ably demonstrated not only his sexist attitude but also the fact that
Ron never really left the 1970s. Sid would've approved (if he was real as opposed to a cartoon character).
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| Terry F***witt |
Rio Ferdinand
Terry's got shit for brains but that's not where the comparison ends.
He's also a PlayStation obsessed, Ferrari driving, practical joke loving multi-millionaire
who plays for one of England's leading clubs. No. Hang on a minute, he isn't.
But they both have shit for brains.
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