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Keegan

The great enthusiasm, the great hair, the great smell of Brut. KK has done it all, but here's a World XI of KK facts that you may not be aware of...









No. Suprising Fact
1 At school Kevin was actually in the same class as an Ida Luvvit.
2 Kevin has famously advertised Brut aftershave, road safety and Iranian Nuclear Cigarettes.
3 Not that he adhered to his road safety message. Kevin would often be seen crossing the road between parked cars AND not looking and listening as he did so.
4 Kevin was signed for Liverpool by the great Bill Shankly. Curiously, Keegan was never around when Shanks did something amusing and therefore has completely failed to relate any Shankly anecdotes to the wider public.
5 As a player Kevin was massively popular with fans and media alike, and none more so than his time in Germany, with Hamburg. However, his campaign to clean up the city's infamous Reeperbahn district enraged the porn-addled locals and he backed down. And only 2 years later he was following the old "if you cant beat them, join them" brigade, opening a chain of sex-shops called "KK-Shag-U-Like" and appearing on billboards across the city dressed only in a HSV thong and stroking a gerbil.
6 During his time in Hamburg Keegan was befriended by another honorary German son, David Hasselhoff. It was from this friendship that years later, in 1991, Keegan would land a much coveted walk-on part in Baywatch, uttering those now immortal words "Who wants to see my canary?" to Pamela Anderson.
7 Hasselhoff would return the favour 5 years later during the latter days of Keegan's reign at Newcastle, making a special trip from L.A. to St James Park so that he could do a talk based on his best-selling motivational book "Why I'm Big in Dusseldorf".
8 Whilst manager at Newcastle Kevin was tricked by Sir John Hall into believing that the Geordie Nation was an actual country. Sir John claimed that he was Prime Minister; Kevin Whateley was foreign secretary and Jimmy Nail the Chancellor.
9 Kevin is famously regarded for wearing his heart on his sleeve. This is incorrect. He wears it on top of his hat. But only on Sundays.
10 Despite his emotional persona KK nearly went all the way in the 1987 Pro-Celebrity Pokerface Championships after a tense semi final victory over Freddie 'Parrot Face' Davies. Sadly he lost a sudden death stareout in the final after an epic, emotionless clash against Rusty Lee.
11 Kevin's infamous cycling crash on Superstars wasn't the only time that he had an accident while guest starring on TV. In 1983 he was hit on the head by a coconut thrown by Christopher Biggins during an episode of On Safari.