Top 10 Footballing Fatties

Ate it or love it, gone are the days of our top footballers returning from pre-season like they've been on a 3 month food marathon with Barry Bethal - getting hammered every night, rolling out of the nightclub at 6 in the morning looking like death warmed-up and wandering into the nearest kebab, pizza or pie establishment.

No, today's footballers are a different breed... they take their game, and their bodies, very seriously. These are professional athletes with dieticians and statisticians checking on how fit they are and club spies ready to cancel their contract if they get within 5 feet of a scotch egg or a Mars bar. So when was the last time you saw a salad-dodger strut his stuff in the top leagues ? Gone are the days of pre-meals consisting of steak and chips and onion rings, followed by sticky toffee pudding and a couple of pork pies. And all washed down at the boozer by several pints of lager, a couple of bags of pork scratchings and a trip to the kebab house on the way home for supper. Yep, that was the life in the 70s and 80s before this fancy bloody Premiership started up and these fancy foreign managers started getting involved and introducing our players to bloody fancy pasta! Pasta for God's sake ! What's wrong with chips !

It's food for thought, the fatties of the past were entertainers, and probably the best player in the team, they ate fast, lived hard, and played... awesome. So get your teeth into our top ten of football legends, who were treated like gods, but looked like Buddhas. Enjoy...

No. 8 Ronaldo


The 3 times world player of the year and double World Cup winner, let the latter years of his career at Real Pineapplefritter away, partying and filling his face with paella and fried spam sarnies.

No. 9 Kevin Pressman

Kevin Pressman

Under-rated keeper who played nearly 500 times for Sheffield Wednesday from the late 1980's. His large frame made him an easy target for opposition fans, particularly the Blades, but "Big Kev" often saved his best performances for when his stomach was getting the most abuse.

No. 10 Matt le Tissier

Matt le Tiss

"Who ate all the pies ?" Well Matt definitely had his fair share of them.

A player with such skill and an eye for goal. Not to mention an eye for the Cornish Pasties...