The best football stuff this month... |
Stockport County 2:7 Rochdale. Now that's what you call a game. Apparently Stockport were
playing rush goalie. And a couple of girls. And Rochdale had this much bigger lad that nobody
could get the ball off...
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Footballing legend Diego Maradona is admitted to hospital, but a statement stresses that
it's not related to his previous drug or pie addictions.
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The least said about the Euro qualifiers from England's point of view the better, with
under-fire Steve McClaren doing his best to become the most unpopular manager ever.
The player's hardly help him, with an insipid performance against Israel being followed by
a painful struggle against the mighty Andorrans, they look like they'd like to be anywhere
else apart from playing for their country. At least Irish eyes are smiling though, with
both the Northern and Republic teams grabbing double wins in the space of 5 days. The
Ulstermen are particularly pleased with themselves, David Healy scores 5 goals in 2 games,
rounding it off with a great double in the fantastic 2-1 win over the Sweden. Dennis Wise
can only sit their and wonder.
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Israeli super-agent Pini Zahavi claims his pal Sven-Goran has dished the dirt on England's
dismal world cup campaign. Apparently, the real reason England went out so lamely was nothing
to do with the Swede's inept tactics, leadership qualities or a general lack of talent in the
squad, but because some of the players were jealous of David Beckham's star status. Yeah, right.
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One rant too many finally costs Mike Newell his job, as the Luton board decide to get rid
after their controversial gaffer blamed the club's current plight on the number of player's
they sold.
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Mark Bright notches the first goal at the new Wembley as he slots home past a legend known
as 'the Cat'. Unfortunately, it's not the great Sepp Maier, but Phil Tufnell.
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One line we thought we'd never write: Celery is banned from Stamford Bridge. Not sure if
that means from the canteen as well, but it's definitely banned from the stands following a
number of un-savoury incidents involving the popular edible herbaceous plant.
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Graeme Souness' bizarre bid for ownership of Wolves looks to have failed, but now he's
apparently turning his wallet to the south, preparing to throw it in the direction of
Southampton. The crazy fool, just enjoy some golf.
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It's reported that some half-wit big cheeses at the Football League are going to discuss
proposals that all drawn league games should be decided by a penalty shoot-out. Even if the
idea is thrown out, just bringing the subject up would show yet again how the authorities are
totally losing touch with the game. All proper fans know that when the chips are down and you're
scraping around for points then getting a draw at a tricky away fixture, even a nil-nil, can
be a beautiful thing. If these clowns get their way then it would actually be possible for a
team to win the league without actually scoring a goal in normal time. Just leave the bloody
system alone.
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Argentina knock Italy off top spot and move to the head of FIFA's rankings following their
victory against France. Italy drop to 2nd and Brazil 3rd. England make a mockery of the whole
sorry thing by appearing at number 6 in the list. To see the latest list
click here.
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Joey "I've turned over a new leaf, me" Barton is arrested on suspicion of causing criminal
damage and assault. Just the news under-fire City boss Stuart Pearce was wanting to hear.
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90 years and 500 billion pounds after starting the project, top-notch Aussie outfit Multiplex
finally hand over the keys to the world's most expensive stadium, meaning the FA Cup showpiece
will finally take place at the new Wembley. Will anybody be surprised if the locks don't actually
work ? or the doors fall off their hinges ? and don't expect any loo roll in the 80,000 toilets
its allegedly got inside it.
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FA Cup, Plymouth 0:1 Watford. Watford will say it was down to tactics after they took an early lead,
but their tactics were grim - constantly delaying things and playing ultra-negative. On the
other hand, Ian Holloway's pasty boys really went for it, and with the Home Park crowd fully
behind them they deserved at least another crack at it, but it wasn't to be, Ben Foster
dealing with everything they could throw at him.
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FA Cup Chelsea 3:3 Spurs. A corking FA Cup tie sees Spurs blow a 3-1 lead with 20 minutes remaining.
3-1 up after 36 mins, Spurs continued to make further chances, with Aaron Lennon causing mayhem
in a free role between the midfield and forward line, but lake strikes from Lampard and Kalou
tied the game.
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Barcelona 3:3 Real Madrid. A pulsating El Clasico ends as dramatically as it started with
Lionel Messi grabbing a last-minute equaliser at the Nou Camp. The match had started frantically
with 4 goals in the opening half-hour shared between Messi and Van Nistelrooy. With Barca down to
10 men following Oleguer's dismissal, Real went for broke in the 2nd half, and with Barca on the
ropes, a Sergio Ramos header looked to have sealed it.
But with Messi looking to run at the Madrid defence at every opportunity a one goal lead never
looked safe, and he claimed his hat-trick in the last minute amidst wild Catalan celebrations.
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River Plate 0:1 Caracas FC. A genuine upset in the Copa Libertadores as Venezualan side
Caracas defeat River Plate in the Estadio Monumental and go top of group 6, thanks to a strike
from Ivan Velasquez.
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Yet more talk of foreign takeovers involving English clubs, with Coventry City and Sheffield
Wednesday the latest to be mooted, with American and Chinese consortiums sniffing around
the respective Championship clubs.
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Valencia 0:0 Inter Milan. Poor game, great fight !
Valencia centre-back David Navarro gets Inter's blood boiling before a Keystone Kops style
chase around the pitch.
Click here
to see those crazy latin types in action.
Lyon 0:2 Roma. Champions League dark horses are surprisingly knocked out by Roma thanks to a
quality second goal by Mancini - check out the fastest lollipops ever by
clicking here.
As for the other games, Barcelona's expected onslaught at Liverpool didn't really materialise,
despite a late Gudjohnsen goal. Bayern took out Real Madrid, and Celtic performed heroics
in the San Siro, taking Milan to extra time but succumbing to a cracking individual goal
by Kaka.
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West Ham 3:4 Spurs. This is what its all about. Unless you're a Hammers fan, obviously. The game
has it all - goals, comebacks, last minute winners, crikey, even Carlos Tevez joined in the
spirit of things and scored, his first for the club, complete with head first, full frontal
dive into the crowd. To be fair, the little Argentinian has been West Ham's one shining light
recently and no-one deserved it more than him. They're looking doomed though. And Alan Curbishley
will be far from happy at being given the dreaded vote of confidence from the old
Icelandic top brass.
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Sevilla 2:1 Barcelona. A frantic table-top encounter at a thunderous Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan saw
Ronaldinho put Barca ahead in the 1st half, and he could have made it 2 after Ocio was sent off,
but the Brazilian's penalty was saved by Palop. Despite being a man down Sevilla stormed back,
with Daniel Alves in flying form down the right. Russian striker Kerzhakov drew them level
before Alves hit the winner from a free-kick. Barca ended the game with 9 men after Zambrotta
and Giuly saw red.
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More shenanigans at Leeds, both on and off pitch. Last month saw that angry little fellow Dennis
Wise running off to the media with his "we've got a mole" tale, whilst March starts off with him
quite literally gobsmacked, announcing that his captain, Kevin Nicholls, has asked to be
transferred back to mighty Luton. Meanwhile, that most warm-hearted of chairman Ken Bates deals
with an ongoing dispute with former director Melvyn Levi by deciding to print his address in the
club's programme. Nice. Levi responds by reporting it to the police. Things don't get much better
on the pitch either: despite their Yorkshire rivals Sheffield Wednesday doing their best to
hand them a draw, Leeds go down 2:3 by 2 wonders goals and stay rooted to the bottom with only
10 games to go.
Click here
to see Wednesday's wonder goals from the match.
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Following news that 'poisoned' fuel has contaminated petrol in the south-east, the country is
enveloped in a state of mass hysteria, particularly amongst football's 'Baby Bentley' brigade,
who text each other complaining that their cars are kangarooing out of control at the mere sight
of a Tesco station forecourt.
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Hernan Crespo's agent claims that the player may be recalled to Chelsea at the end of the season
and bizarrely offered a 12 month contract extension as a 'reward' for returning to a land that
he obviously cant stand. Expect tears before bedtime and an agent with a P45 if the moody
Argentinian gets even the faintest whiff of such a move.
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What we've listened to... |
| Gruff Rhys: Candylion (Album) |
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The main man from the Super Furry Animals, Gruff Rhys is back with his 2nd solo effort.
And a decent one it is too. A bit easier on the old English ears than his 1st album
(well, it was sung entirely in Welsh), it sticks mainly to English but he does throw in
the odd Spanish and Welsh song here and there, as you do.
Jesting aside, it has some cracking moments - especially the last track - Skylon! -
a genuine epic ending.
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TV stuff... |
| Harry Hill's TV Burp (TV) |
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It's on at a mad time, but if you can remember to record it or see the repeats then you're in
for some treats. The 'Australian Princess' show with Paul Burrell was particularly hilarious.
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Films we've watched... |
| V for Vendetta (DVD) |
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The idea has kind of been done before with 1984 and Brazil (surely a contender for a 5/5
rating) but this isn't a bad effort at all. It follows the classic formula where a
downtrodden everyman is abused by The State which inadvertently turns him into a
rebel/superhero figure. John Hurt is quality as the mad Hitler/Thatcher style leader and
Hugo Weaving does a good job as the masked V. The only downside is Natalie Portman's
terrible British accent. Well worth a watch. Rating: 4/5
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Books read... |
| Andrew Ward: Football's Strangest Matches |
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If you like your cult football then you'll like this collection of bizarre tales involving
various football matches from over the years. It's easy reading and one of those great books
that you can just tuck into every now and then when you get a spare ten or fifteen minutes.
Many good laughs throughout.
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Previous month's stuff... |
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| February |
| January |
| December 2006 |
| November 2006 |
| October 2006 |
| September 2006 |
| August 2006 |
| July 2006 |
| June 2006 |
| May 2006 |
| April 2006 |
| March 2006 |
| February 2006 |
| January 2006 |
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| From the International Leagues |
| Name: | Mbark Boussoufa |
| Country: | Morocco |
| Club: | Anderlecht (Belgium) |
| Age: | 22 (15-08-1984) |
| Position: | Midfielder |
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Released by Chelsea back in 2004, it's a move that they may well live to regret. Snapped up by
Belgian club Gent, a series of astonishing attacking performances brought about media comparisons
with Enzo Scifo and a move to Anderlecht. His range of passing with either feet, along with
fantastic dribbling skills, means he can play anywhere across the middle, and up front.
Won every award going in Belgium last season, including player of the year, young player of the
year, and best African player (the Ebony Shoe).
Born in Holland, but of Moroccan nationality, the youngster has opted to play for Morocco and
made his debut last summer. For an idea of how good he is
click here.
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| From the British Leagues |
| Name: | Scott Sinclair |
| Country: | England |
| Club: | Chelsea |
| Age: | 17 (26-03-1989) |
| Position: | Winger/Forward |
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Sinclair came up through the ranks at Bristol Rovers before being signed by Chelsea in 2005
amidst controversial circumstances (the Pirates hadn't given them permission to speak to him).
A defender's nightmare, Sinclair combines tricks with pace and loves to run at people. Ian
Holloway, aware of the player from his Bristol connections, recently took Sinclair on loan
to Plymouth, playing him on the left side of midfield to great effect. Some classy
performances have really caught the eye, including
a cracking FA Cup goal
against Barnet.
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